Hi guys, welcome to Skillopedia – the place to learn soft skills and improve your personality to shine in the real world. Are you scared of meeting new people? What keeps you away to strike that conversation? This Personality development videos will take you through essential social skills to attract new people in your life and how to keep them in your life. We all want more friends, we do make friends and what efforts do you take to take that friendship to the next level. This Skillopedia session will help you’re a step by step plan of action about how you could attract new people and keep them for life. These tips and tricks are a part of our personality development course conducted at our learning centre in Mumbai, India.
Complete Video Transcript –
Hi guys, welcome to Skillopedia, the place where we all learn skills for the real world. Let me start this session with a question. How is it meeting new people for you? For me, it’s almost like a movie. Can you think of it like that? If it is a movie for you, what kind of a movie is it? Is it a horror movie, a comedy, or an intense story? For me, it’s like a comedy because it’s filled with energy and it’s so good to meet new people but is it a horror movie for you? This means that you’re scared of meeting new people. Or is it an intense movie for you, which means that you are very serious when you meet people first? well if it’s either of the cases, then this is the ideal session for you because today I’m sharing some ways with you, in which you can attract new people in your life but is it just enough to attract new people? Shouldn’t we also keep them in our life? Yes, so I’ll also share some tips with you on keeping new people in your life. So keep watching this session with me, Michelle your tutor for the day.
The movie in your head
So if meeting new people is like a movie, then the movie is only in your head but what does that mean? Okay, so do you think that you’re not funny enough or you’re not interesting enough? When people meet you first, you think that they might not like you. Well, that’s only in your head. This is what it means when we say that, the movie is only in your head. So this is your perception of yourself and maybe other people don’t think like that about you. So if somebody meets you and they seem to be really interested in you, don’t be shocked. Maybe they think you’re really cool. So be confident about who you are and do not underestimate yourself. Don’t think you’re not good enough and you’re not funny enough possibly you’re awesome and I’m sure you’re awesome. So be confident when you meet new people.
Do not pretend. Don’t be someone that you are not.
As I’ve already shared with you that meeting people should be like a comedy movie and not like a horror movie. So what I mean here is that it should be a lot of fun and you should not be terrified when you meet new people. This can often happen to people who try to be someone else that they are not, which means that you know, they try to be really fun and they are popularly known as wannabes. Sometimes they are not wannabes and they are just trying to attract other people and if you’re one of them, then I have a very useful advice here for you. Do not pretend. Don’t be someone that you are not. Try to be yourself because you really cannot earn friendship. You can receive friendship from people by being the way you are. So this is my advice for you, that don’t be pretentious and be natural. This is the best way to attract new people.
Start the first scene of your movie
Let’s start the first scene of your movie. What I mean here is, let’s take the first step to attracting people and who needs to take that first step? You are the one who needs to take that first step but where would you take this step? Should you take this at a place that you are familiar with? Which means that you are well-known of for example your workplace or your neighbourhood or should you take this step at a place that you know nothing about? An unfamiliar place like a party? Well, obviously you should take this step at a familiar place. For example, your workplace, why don’t you try talking to someone at your workplace? This will relieve you of all your hesitation and will give you an opportunity to be more confident in talking to people, not only at familiar places but also at unfamiliar places.
How do I find new people?
Now that we have already got the first scene of your movie ready, how do we make a movie out of this? You’ve already taken the first step of talking to people at a familiar place and you’re confident. You’re relieved of the hesitation. Now the next step is that you start talking to people at an unfamiliar place. For example, at your gym and at your singing classes or maybe at a workshop or a seminar that you want to attend. Here you’re going to meet a lot of people that you’ve never met before and this is a great opportunity to make a movie out of your scene. This means that you begin talking to them and begin finding out about them because now you want to be more confident in talking to new people that you’ve never met before.
How to keep new people in your life?
We’ve already looked at some ways to attract new people in your life but now we’ll look at some ways to keep them in your life. This means that when you’ve already spoken to a person, let’s not stop there. Let’s be friends with them and keep them in our lives. So for that, the first step that I have for you is, give them a chance. What this means is, that when you meet a person first, it could be that your interests and their interests might not match and maybe you don’t really think that you could be friends with that person. So should you stop there at the first meet? uh-hmm, you should actually give them a chance and you should go out with them, speak to them more to find out more about them and trust me, from my cases, mostly the people that I thought I could never be friends with turned out to be my best friends later. That’s because later on, I found out that they were a great support and they were a great company. So give a chance and find out more about people, don’t judge them when you meet them first.
First Listen & then tell
Do you like talking about yourself? like sharing about yourself, as in I grew up here, then I went to this college, I studied this, then I was in this country, that country, etc. etc. you love telling that to your friends and the people that you meet for the first time but it’s not just you even other people like to be heard. So it’s very important that you remember that you should not just keep speaking when you meet someone and build your friendship with someone. It’s equally important to hear them out, which means to listen to what they have to share. This helps them realize that you’re interested. If you just go on talking about yourself, the other person might feel that you’re really interested to find out about them and that’s not a very good sign and they might not even want to share about themselves then. So, the correct approach would be, to listen and tell and not just go on, telling, telling and telling yourself.
Make yourself available
The next way to keep new people in your life is by ignoring them. Is it? No, it’s just the opposite. It’s by being available for them. What I mean here is, it’s very important to spend time with a person after meeting them. If you don’t meet them, then you will not be able to build the friendship. So, it’s important that you spend time together. So let’s say that you go out for a movie with them or you could go out for a dinner. Sometimes you can go out to a party together and meet more new people so that you can get to know each other better. So make sure that if you’ve met someone and you’re just getting to know them, it’s important that you meet them more often and try to find out more about that person.
Keep in touch
I have this friend, Jessie and she’s moving abroad next month and what have I decided to do? I’ve decided to keep in touch. Alright, what this means is, I do not want Facebook to remind me that it’s her birthday. I want to keep talking to her and stay in touch by using different Medias. For example, our phone, we’ve got the technology right here. That’s the best media to speak to someone. I can do a video call. I can do a chat and through this, I can talk to her and find out about how things are going in her life. If I only, let it just be and do not focus on communication with her, then I’ll definitely lose this friend. There was once a time when I really wanted this person in my life and now I’ve just let her go but that’s not correct. So if I want her to stay in my life, then I need to stay I touch with her.
Make people count on you.
I’ve got two friends, Jessie and Ron. Jessie is that one person whom I can really count on. what this means is, if I’m in a problem, I can speak to her and ask for a solution and I know that she’ll be there for me. She’ll hear me out and Ron would not hear me out, definitely not but he is that person who would usually call me and ask me to go for a party with him or go out for a dinner. Which one do you think is a good friend? Naturally, it’s Jessie who’s my good friend. If you want to be a good friend to someone then you should be available for them when they need you because you cannot be a good friend as long as you’re available for someone. If they are in a difficult situation and they need you to be there, then you should always have a yes and never a no, after all, a friend in need can only be a friend indeed.
So this lesson was all about celebrating friendship. You’ve learnt how to attract new people and how to keep them in your life. You know how to take the small steps to start interactions and get yourself relieved of your hesitation and you’ve also learnt how to be a good friend by being available for someone in need.
Thank you so much for staying in this session with me. This is Michelle signing off, bye.