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06 COOL & Realistic ways – How to control your ANGER?

Do you get angry often? Do you want to get rid of your anger? This Skillopedia session is just right for you. Learn 6 cool and realistic ways to get rid of your temper and keep anger at bay. Anger could ruin a lot of things in your life such as friendship, relationship, make you sound rude etc. So why not keep the anger away and focus your mind on more fruitful things in life. In this personality development video with Michelle – your life coach brings you easy to use and practice 6 effective ways to control your anger. This session would be extremely useful for you understand why you get angry and shoot up your blood pressure. Anger is normal, and a healthy emotion, but you should know how to deal with it in a positive way. So are you ready to control your anger? Watch this complete video and make a difference to your anger management skills.

Complete Video Transcript –

You’re in a conversation with your family at the dinner table and suddenly your two little siblings start arguing with each other and they almost pick up a fight and this is enough to set you off. I mean this is enough to make you go crazy and make you leave the dinner table very, very angry. Ah! These are the kind of incidents that separate you from your close ones. They start creating a lot of space between you and them because they don’t even know when you’ll get angry and react. If you relate to this one, then I must tell you that your anger is the main problem and it makes other people think about you very negatively. So if you are looking for ways to control your anger and you’re just not able to. You’ve tried almost everything and you don’t know what to do, then this is just the absolute right place for you. Please watch this complete session with me today on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for the real world, where we are learning how to manage, control and overcome anger bit by bit. So make sure you follow all my suggestions. My name is Michelle and I’m gonna share it with you in just a bit. So keep watching.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. If you are known for your anger, then you have heard this one before. Count to ten, that’s exactly what I was doing. Yes, this one actually works. Okay, let me give you an example. So if you are at the restaurant and you ordered for a coffee, which is getting delayed and of course, as usual, you don’t have the patience to wait for it. So you’re actually losing it, like when will it come, when will it come? Why is it not coming? and then when you want it, immediately you see that the waiter is getting the coffee and you see him coming towards you and wow he drops the coffee right in front of your table. Whoa, isn’t that just enough for you to scream at him? Like what is he doing? Right? Just for dropping the coffee, really will you even scream at him? Well, this is just a small mistake, it could happen to anyone. It could happen to you. Let’s say, you’ve got guests at your home and you need to take coffee for them and you drop it. So how will you feel if your guests scream at you for doing that? You will definitely not like it. So think about what you do to others. When you’re reacting like this, you’re simply putting people away from you and you’re blowing things out of proportion, which means you’re making them much bigger than they are and this can definitely cause you great harm especially to your public image. Now let’s try this the other way. So if the waiter is getting the coffee and he drops it and this makes you angry. Obviously, because that’s your natural nature but just stay quiet and count till ten. There are two benefits of doing this. First, he’ll get his time to clean the mess and rush to get another coffee for you and you’ll get time to calm down, cool down and even accept his apology. So you see, it works like this. Try it next time and see for yourself, it really does some wonders. So go from one to ten.

Rebecca and Elvis were having an argument. They were arguing about who does the least work in the house and of course, the woman that she is, Rebecca started blaming her husband Elvis for lousing around the home, which means not doing anything and for not contributing in the house chores. As in, he’s not doing any work in the house and it’s only Rebecca who is working. So the argument between these two gets really heated up and Elvis is gone. Yes, Elvis is gone, the show’s over, you guys. Okay, I’ll stop confusing you and get to the details. Elvis left because he cannot continue the conversation without screaming at Rebecca because he’s so angry now already. So, like Elvis, all you’ve got to do when you’re angry is to leave the situation alone, if you think, you cannot stay there without reacting. So leave that person alone and leave yourself alone. Well, leaving yourself alone will be a bit hard because I know that your mind will keep pushing you to say something back but that’s what you need to do. You need to leave that person alone and leave your thoughts alone. So this way, you can definitely overpower your anger. What I mean is, let go of the thing that irritates you or something that makes you angry, let it go. If somebody says something bad and you don’t like it, just leave the conversation. Okay, instead of reacting, just leave the conversation and you’ll save yourself a big deal of trouble. You’ll save them a big deal of trouble.

H2O, there was a famous cartoon show, Oswald, have you seen it? And in one of the episodes, the octopus said, “Wow, how cool is water? It helps you to get out of every problem.” of course, doesn’t it? But can it help you to get out of your anger? Yes, it can. Think about it, if there is fire, you use water to put the fire off. Okay if you glue your hands with a Fevicol or something, what do you do? You wash your hands with water and they become clean. Well, we cannot even survive without water because we are ourselves 70% of water. Wow! Much of the knowledge now. So all I mean is, drink water when you’re angry. Yes, that’s gonna help you and H2O means water. It helps you to cool down and it helps you to not burst out. Scientifically it has been proven to relax your nerves. So the next time, you lose it, grab a glass of water, here it is and relax your mind, cheers to water. I love water, don’t you? So, let’s cheer the water and you’ll cool down next time for sure.

Put your thoughts to rest, stop thinking and put your fingers to work, start doing something. I mean here that, you need a rubber band. Yes, I’m not talking strange. Come on, okay we have this rubber band, can you see it? So anger is such a weird thing. It can come anywhere, anytime and let’s deal with something weird in a more weird way. Let’s try to control it using a rubber band. So take it from me, keep a rubber band handy with you if you are a very angry person. Why you ask me? Well, just snap it of course and I won’t ask you to tie your hair with this. The key here is, that you’ve got to confuse your mind, which means that you got to fool yourself to keep yourself away from bursting into anger at somebody. So if you want, you can take all your anger out at snapping a rubber band to avoid thoughts that make you angry. So instead of focusing on your anger, you basically need to focus on something else and this is very handy, as in you can have a rubber band anywhere. So you can actually maintain your calm using a rubber band or you could do something with your hands, right? Something that distracts you from your anger, like you could snap your fingers. Okay just in public, not in a meeting of course and if you’re in a meeting, okay. Then you could just hold your hands tightly. If you’re very angry in a meeting, you could hold your hands tight. Maybe your colleague copied your presentation and you’re watching the presentation and you know that he stole your ideas. Of course, you’re very angry and you want to react or maybe even walk out of the meeting but you can’t do that. So, keep your hands tight or maybe you can find a pen around and you can hold it, move the pen with your fingers. This will help you distract your mind from focusing on your anger. So fool your mind and stay a little distracted when you’re angry, do not focus on your anger and keep a rubber band, very, very handy.

I love instant results. So let’s say today, if I start a project, I want to see it completing as soon as possible. Yes because I want to see, how my boss will like it. Will he appreciate it or not and I really can’t wait for it to get over. So basically, I want instant results. I want it to complete so much that I can’t even focus on my work. This is what happens when you don’t have patience. You put in very little effort and you don’t have any patience. So this is almost the experience of an angry, anxious, aggressive person who needs things to be done immediately and if they are not done, they get impatient and frustrated and if you’re frustrated, it will obviously make you angry sooner or later. So my simple advice to you is, to relax, hang on and understand that everything might not go the way you want and you have to deal with it. So you have to train your mind basically and teach your mind, that you need to be more patient with things because not everything can be done at once. So go step by step. If you’re doing a project, go step by step, wait for it to complete, put in all your hard work and now you must wait and learn to be more patient. So this is my advice for you to control your anger and you will have to remind yourself, surely to wait every time you become angry. This is like training and it has to become your habit. So develop a habit to wait in order to control your anger. Whether it’s about your kids performing in school who you think are not performing good enough. Wait, they will perform better or if you’re waiting for your boyfriend’s call who’s not calling you, wait he will call you. So develop a habit to wait so that you don’t get too angry.

Do you know laughter is the best medicine? Yes, but I read it somewhere that a person who laughs without a reason needs medicine. Well, that sounds funny but it’s not true in the case of anger. You can actually laugh your anger off. I know it sounds strange and you’re like what’s she even saying? But yes, if you’re angry and if you’re not in public, you can just go to your room and try to laugh because this will calm it down. You must be thinking why should I start laughing when I’m so angry? Well, so that, you avoid thinking about what’s going on, again to fool your mind and to think and distract yourself. So think of it as if you’re really angry, okay but you choose to be happy and you choose to laugh at the situation. It’ll give you a cooler approach towards the situation and you will not act in your anger. So, will it not be a great strategy to confuse your mind? Isn’t it? So, let go of all the anger while you laugh every minute and this is a genius idea. I know that for sure, so laugh off your anger.

so guys today, I shared my few tricks to trick your mind away from anger and now if you have any other ideas apart from this, the way you have been controlling your anger so far and if that has turned out to be successful, then leave it in the comments box for other people to read so that they can get some help from it. And in the end, I’ll just close with saying that, be aware of your surroundings, remind yourself to get away with words which are very angry okay, keep calm and stay cool. I’ll see you very soon with another session on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for the real world. My name is Michelle and thank you so much for having me.

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