10 Phrases Smart People Never Say – Communication Skills

Oh! You were too good for him. Have you ever said this to anyone, well then you need to watch out, this is one of those phrases that you should never say to people on their face, and you must think, why really? SO, keep watching to know why is it wrong to tell someone “You were too good for him!”

My name is Michelle and today I’ve come up with several phrases you shouldn’t say out loud and what are their acceptable alternatives. You’re watching me on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for the real world:

You were too good for him!

We usually use this phrase with a girl who has recently broken up with her boyfriend. It may seem as a great phrase to console someone but what you’re actually doing here is you’re telling her “Your taste is too bad and you can’t see the real side of people or what a guy you chose and wasted so much time on him” So while you might be trynna console someone, you would actually be insulting her.  If you don’t wanna make that person feel even worse about themselves you should say “He’s lost a lot.” This is much more considerate and consoling, it increases the person’s worth.

You look great for your age.

While this may seem like a great compliment and a good way to impress somebody, but what it really means is “Compared to other older people, you look okay” so now you know. This phrase cannot leave a good impact on the listener, so if you seriously wanna compliment somebody instead of being sarcastic then you could say: Right: Vow! You look stunning. This is a genuine compliment and doesn’t include any sort of comparisons, so yeah. Don’t use “You look great for your age.”

 I keep trying but all in vain.

Only a ten-year-old child can say this but not an adult, if all your efforts are going a waste, this means there are two possibilities either you have got the wrong tactics to do a task or your aims are too high. So you know that you’re only who can change the situation just by saying the correct statement to you supervisor. You could say “I am trying as hard as I can.” This shows that you are seriously trying and now you need the aims to be changed or it should be explained to you how the task need s to be done. So don’t put more efforts in vain by saying “I keep trying but all in vain”.

 I did it all by myself.

Well, this is an extremely selfish statement and you are trying to take all the credit for your achievements which is not correct, because surely your parents, your friends or your boss have contributed enough to your success and it would be wrong to say “I did it all by myself” especially if you are asked to describe one of your achievement in an interview. So if you have to replace this phrase you could say, “I have come so far, thanks to my parents and all those I love!” You could also use this in a public speech.

 It’s not fair.

Well, we all know that lot of things around us that are not fair. And Life itself isn’t fiar but you have to deal with it. It’s ethically not correct to say “It’s not fair” at your workplace. This would affect your personality at work and you would come out more as a crybaby who complains about little things like a child. So, get rid of this phrase and replace it with something more appropriate. For instance, if your boss made an unfair decision, you can politely ask, “What led to this decision? May I ask why it wasn’t me you chose?”

May be, what I ‘m about to say is “stupid” but….

well, it is pretty stupid to talk about anything using this phrase. These words are the worst way to start talking about a matter because it immediately makes someone feel that you are not confident about what you are saying and you are just blabbering for the sake of saying. So if you don’t wanna come out as a stupid, you could rather say “I’m not entirely sure of this and I would like to hear your opinions.”

I told you so!

This is almost like saying: I already told you that this won’t work. But you still did it. SO If you want to blame someone, you use this phrase. It only points at someone’s mistakes and is surely not forgiving in nature. So I m sure no one will like you saying this, so be smart and say “You won’t make the same mistake in the future.” This is sure to encourage the listener.

Ah! I had the same situation too.

It’s surely okay to say this if your friend has just returned a pair of shoes to the store because they didn’t fit. But if they share a personal issue with you, like a financial problem that they are going through, don’t say “Ah! I had the same situation too.” Because they wanna tell you what happened to them, and not to hear what happened with you. So, it’s better to say: Many people have been through this. You’ll cope with it, I’m sure.

You’re making a problem out of nothing.

This phrase is hugely discouraging. You must not say this because you can’t measure someone’s problem. It might seem small to you but it may be causing them huge stress. So it’s better to say: Soon this trouble won’t be so bad as it seems now. You’ll be fine.

You don’t love me!

It seems great to say this, especially it’s so relieving to say this to your spouse after a fight. But this phrase can backfire at you! Hearing these words for the first time, your partner will surely do everything to hear “You love me so much, the second time when you say “You don’t love me!” they’ll ignore them and trust me the third time, they’ll start to wonder if you’re right. So if you don’t want them to start wondering, whether they love you or not, it would be better to say: “I miss you”.

So you are a smart person and that’s why you should not use these phrases. Use the alternative phrases to sound smart and to not hurt the people listening to you.

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